you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
