it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
