You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
that may or may not have been my penis.
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