Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
