i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
