dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
