Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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