Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
