You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have fence marks all over my body
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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