Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
