Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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