My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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