.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
