Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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