you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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