you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize