I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
