Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
