My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
