It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
