Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
