nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
