I'm jealous of your bromance
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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