Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
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These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
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God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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