Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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