So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
