Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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