ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
