I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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