My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
