Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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