Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
