DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
