i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
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Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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