After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
