mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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