so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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