This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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