I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
