the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
