Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
