Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
