Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
