I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
