I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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