Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
