this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
