Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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