no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
