he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
