i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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