My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
