the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
