My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
