sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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