maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We talked him into tasing himself.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
