I will die if light touches me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
