I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
