nutella sex= disaster
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
