How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
