I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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