One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
