I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
