I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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