i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
