Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
