the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
