he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
