I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All the doctor said was why
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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