Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
