he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
