i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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