forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
