none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
