She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
