I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
